جَازِم

Resolute, Determined & Unshakable

“That green had so much to be mean”

Those black cuts had so much to bleed,

I may recall the cage i lived in

I sleep in the daydream and find my heart with no fin,

I am the urge of your thoughtful and sleepless cries

Because i die in those screams where i fall from very high,

You pushed a child with so many dreams

Now i am a man with heart so dry with no life to redeem”

The envy of knowing myself has grown from past some years of latching experiences where as an anomaly i was usually subjected to hidden truth and lusty dreams of being no one. Seen in the sea of thoughts revised of what actually my  name stands for is usually very unpredictable as science calls it be in a Multiple Identity Crisis.

Stages of progress has always related to the phrases of what people may call you, but in my case it was Madness to Insanity and Psychologist to Vivisectionist. The nights of evangelism of being someone usually ended while my way back to the room full of thoughts. i lost many of my heart puzzle piece holders not knowing that one day the moment will surely come up when i will be left with a single piece of beating.

I have always been designated to a process but no human, shift for the carnage and anger made my hair go white but in the end i stranded strangling within my own self, in contrary to what people many perceive as they don’t know the reality. Every stone once in his lifetime is either hurled for the Resistance or for Hypocrisy same as what has happened to me in past. Every time the vision of life gets broader i get to know one more bitter answer which i seek. i may be forgotten but my words and my seeking never ends.

I see the push of your pen on the piece of paper but no one saw the pen sleeping as a sung in between my forefinger and thumb. Surely, why would any one care to my over dried pain created by a word of relief but what if i told you nothing changed in those years of being directed towards wrong or something i didn’t had knowledge of. I may scream in my own terms of what i have been living as but does it  give you right to kill it over as living was difficult for me rather than dying.

i have the questions you left me for, i may have got the answers for myself but in the end everything remains Fluctuating like time, Positioning of Altered Sadism and Preconditioning of Mannerless Miseries.

I became never-told , i maybe never seen, but there are many like me. tangled in what people had to make me.